Depression and Happiness in Bali

I have to say I am now sure that flying is the most souless and crap experiences maybe I am biased but.... After crying my way to the airport on the shuttle bus (which I am pleased to say was full!) and being invited to go to Noosa on holiday instead with a pisshead whose wife had just dumped him - tempting! I brave the airport. I have not had any security checks to speak of all trip, only one small glance in my bag when I arrived in Australia, so perhaps I was a bit naive but carrying matches and a fork in my luggage as well as trying to photograph the planes 'Security!' were not too clever! They let me through though to sit in the departure lounge - bad lights, uncomfortable chairs, expensive food, no one talking except the obligatory loud and crass tourists! We finally board and I am scared silly (did I mention I am actually terrified of flying too!) luckily I got some disgusting food to take my attention for a while as the lady next to me clutches her rosary beads - crikey! I have to admit the view as leave is particularly beautiful and I have a bit of time to reflect on my wonderful Australian adventures and all the wonderful folk I have met - so then I cry a bit more! It is raining as we arrive in Denpasar, Bali which is apt. It was such a rushed decision in the end that I only have the plane journey to plan my next move. I decide to find the nearest, quietest, cheapest place to chill and reflect for a few days. This takes me to Legian (near Kuta of surfers and bombs!) and I am thrust back into Asia with a jolt as we are back to 'you want transport?' 'sunglasses 1 dollar' etc... I can't cope with it so I stick with sleeping and mooching in the pool at the beautiful Adys Inn hostel, which is highly recommended. Slowly I get back into the swing of this adventuring lark - I learn a few words of Bahasa Indonesian it is quite easy really. I try the speciality Gado Gado (steamed veg and peanut sauce and cracker!) and try not to get too pissed off with the hawkers. Legian and Kuta really are a bit gross and touristy so I head to Ubud in the hills. Here I find a mecca for alternative folk, with THREE organic cafes, Bali Buddha, Kafe and Sari Organik, an organic food shop (parmesan pasty anyone!) an organic flower shop, organic soap shop and two organic markets! Wow. Mostly they are set up and patronised by 'ex-pats' and tourists but most of the staff are local and there is a seachange within the area forwards to a sustainable community. I met some of the people who are pioneering these businesses and am inspired by their enthusiasm. One particularly exciting project is the Sari Organik experimentation and education centre and cafe (bubbling liquid manure - Peter Harper eat your heart out!) out in the serenely peaceful rice paddy fields. I was lucky to get the guided tour by Oded and was especially excited about his heritage rice seed experiments! I wish him luck with his project - I think he needs help if anyone is interested. I am delighted to see there is recycling and water bottle refilling service here too. I also attended the Kecak performance which was mainly based on the Ramayana and an amazingly musical performance with no instruments but the voice. Onwards to Lovina pretty quiet and there is a desperation in some locals to sell you anything and I feel awkward, I can't buy everything! I try to wait and ponder as I know that in each destination the initial uncertainty has always been replaced with something good or positive. Sadly I end up giving up, after chatting to a few nice locals, and decide to get the bus to Java. What a bad idea that was. After a local freaked me out totally by saying I was going to drown if I get the boat today, begging me to stay and he will pay for my ticket I don't know what to do. I can't change the ticket and the weather looks ok and it is only 30 mins so I go for it, but in my worried state I end up getting bitten by a dog!! I freak even more about rabies but as no one can speak English I just get on with it and cry and worry all the way to Yogjakarta in Java. Here I see a doctor who thinks I am fine and there is no foaming at the mouth so I am quite positive. One of my scariest moments and interesting to think about whether to listen to local advice or not and also going with your instincts.......